Things I Didn't Tell You
by MsSarah-Berry
Summary: Felicity's face was just as broken as the glass bowl which had just been shattered all across the living room floor. The space that had grown between them was a question that he never got to ask her.


"Oliver?"

Felicity's face was just as broken as the glass bowl which had just been shattered all across the living room floor. Glass beads were scattered everywhere among the mess.

She moved off the couch to get up.

"Don't! Just- please. Felicity." Oliver's shout was alarming enough for her to drop back down onto the sofa. He scrambled down into the mess on his knees, grabbing at a piece of glass and cutting himself in the process.

"Oliver! Stop- what is going on? What has been going on with you lately?" She bent down onto her knees behind him and clutched at his hands as he cut himself on even more glass. "Stop it!"

"Hey." she said so gently that his hands stopped what they were doing and his head whipped back to see her- sadness and confusion were written starkly across her face.

"Felicity I'm so sorry." Oliver's voice cracked.

"Why do I feel like you're not just talking about the decorative bowl?" Felicity's tone was biting but not on purpose.

Oliver couldn't take his eyes away from hers as he furrowed his brow and shook his head, trying to clear all of the plans he had for them swirling around and unfinished at the forefront of mind.

It was a long pause, and she looked down at the two hands she held in her own. "Oliver! You're bleeding." She gripped his wrists and pulled, more in suggestion that he stand than an actual thought that she was capable of pulling him up. She quickly made her way to their shared bathroom and returned to the living room- gauze, tape, and salve in hand. He was just standing there over the broken shards, bleeding hands at his sides, looking so defeated. He was deep in thought as she guided him onto the couch, his expression getting more and more lost as she taped up one hand and then the other.

She dropped a kiss onto both hands before sitting back and pulling his head into her lap. He was broken from his trance when her fingernails began to make circles on his scalp. It earned her a small smile, until it faded away again. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Felicity spoke quietly into the silence of their apartment.

She continued before he had time to reply, "I knew that when we moved here that you were only making a compromise because that's just what you do. You're just so selfless that even though you didn't fully want to be here, you did it anyways- for me. I knew that you wanted to stay in Coast City but I was being selfish, and the longer we stay here the more I feel like you're starting to resent me for it. There's this distance growing between us and I can feel it, Oliver. I didn't want to make you feel like you weren't enough for me because- oh, god, Oliver, you are. You're always enough for me, no matter where we are. And I'm sorry I made you come back here, because I want you to be happy too. I'm sorry that-" Oliver sat up and turned to her before she could continue her ramble.

"No. No, no, no, Felicity. It was never a compromise. We are never a compromise." he took her hand in his bandaged one, trying to gather his words.

"I never meant to make you feel like I resented you. That's not what's going on. I'm sorry I've been acting strangely, I should never have expected for you to not pick up on it. You're my beautiful genius, Felicity." He smiled at this and moved his hand up to her cheek.

She couldn't resist giving him a small half smile. "Then why have you been acting so strangely?"

He sighed deeply, "There's… some things I didn't tell you. It's been weighing a lot on my mind."

She quirked an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side in concern and expectation.

"Felicity, I love you so much."

"Oh, no, you've told me that one." she replied quickly.

Oliver huffed out a laugh and moved past it. "I've just started sharing a little bit with you about those five years. And I never imagined that would be something I could do with anyone, because I trust you, Felicity." He took both of her arms in his, holding onto her like a lifeline and absently stroking then with his thumbs. "I realize that some distance has opened up between us since we left Coast City, and I'm so sorry."

Felicity blinked in surprise at this admission.

"And it has nothing to do with anything you've done or moving back to Starling. I want to be here with the team- with you, Felicity." He quickly leaned in to peck her on the lips to confirm his words, and because he could. "I guess, in some ways, I didn't realize how coming back here would… put a wrench in some of my plans. Maybe I'm still trying to come to terms with that."

Felicity pursed her lips "Plans?"

Oliver grasped for words, searching around him for where they might have gone. Felicity bit her lip in impatience. "I need you to understand-" Oliver swallowed a lump in his throat and furrowed his brow in thought. "There have been very few times that I've seen you at a loss for words, so this could either be really good or really bad." Felicity observed as she narrowed her eyes at him with a hint of a smile. He smiled back at her until he blinked with an idea.

"Here." Oliver finally stated as he pulled her up off the couch with ease, avoiding the bits of broken glass from the bowl of glass beads that he had quickly and inexplicably shoved out of her sight just minutes ago.

Felicity shook her head in confusion as Oliver pulled her towards the door, grabbing both their jackets from the hook. "Wait, Oliver, where are we going?" She asked, half confused and half amused. Was there a word for that? Conmused? She would look it up later. "Oliver! It's like, midnight!"

Oliver only looked back at her and smiled, he was practically vibrating with enthusiasm. He continued to hold her hand tightly as he led her down to the parking garage to his motorcycle. She beamed at him as he handed her a helmet, Oliver's motorcycle had become one of her new favorite toys since moving back to Starling- aside from the brand new updated computers she had outfitted the new lair with, obviously. He revved up the engine and she climbed on behind him, "Hold onto me tightly." Oliver and Felicity beamed at their little inside joke.

They pulled up in front of the Palmer Technologies building and Felicity only looked at him questioningly as she shook out her helmet hair.

Oliver and Felicity's hands were intertwined as they walked past security, Felicity giving one of the night guards a wave- they had been acquainted since she was pulling all nighters for Queen Consolidated's I.T. department- and now here she was. In fact, where exactly was she?

"Oliver?" Felicity questioned once again as they set foot in the elevator.

"37." Oliver replied, indicating that she push the button for Palmer Techs top floor.

Felicity just shook her head in light amusement at his dedicated silence.

"So." Felicity began as the elevator whirred to life, "I'm not sure why I'm still bothering to ask you questions but- is there a reason you brought me to my office, which used to be your office, which actually used to be Palmers office but was also your dad's office? Actually, now that I think about it this was also once your mom and Walters office." She pursed her lips in thought but then shook that thought away, "Anyways, is there a reason you brought me here in the dead of night after inexplicably smashing a bowl of marbles- which I had started getting attached to?"

Oliver averted his eyes so as to not give into the laughter that was playing on his lips as they stepped off the elevator.

"There are some things I didn't tell you." Oliver began again as he opened the door to her office, and immediately saw Felicity's brow begin to furrow as she passed through the door. "Memories I've been keeping for myself. Little lights in the darkness I used to carry with me."

He looked out on the lights of the city, the view was amazing from up here. His fingers hovered over the window where downtown ran into the glades, a shadow passing over his face before he refocused on Felicity.

"I wanted to take you to the place where we first met." Oliver took a step towards her and cupped her elbow in his hand.

"But we didn't-" Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. "we met in my old office in I.T. when you brought me that laptop that you 'spilled coffee' on'" She ended in air quotes with a smile.

Oliver grinned at his feet with only a slight sense of shame. "Actually Felicity, you were standing right- here." He her positioned behind the desk with the arm he still had on her elbow and stood back to take in the scene- leaving her baffled. "And I was right over- there." He pointed to the next room, where the hallway that led to the board room veered right.

Felicity's eyes widened.

"Maybe we didn't exactly meet, but-"

"Are you telling me that you remember me from before the island?" Felicity interrupted breathlessly.

"Not before. During." Oliver leveled his eyes with hers to watch the recognition dawning.

"But- but I thought you only went to China and Russia when you got off the island."

"I also went back to Starling. On a mission for Argus." Oliver clarified as he attempted to rub the lines of confusion from her forehead before dropping a kiss onto it. He removed his hands from her arms and wandered around the other side of the desk.

"I was on a late night mission here, I remember being warned that somebody was coming, so I hid around the corner waiting for a threat. But all of the sudden, you were standing right there, and you were just so-" Oliver paused, grasping for the right word in his head. "You just weren't a threat- you were a light. And you made me smile for the first time in I can't remember how long with your babbling and your color."

Just like his words, Felicity colored at his compliments. He would never understand how she could still be so shy after six whole months together, but he hoped it wouldn't stop.

"When we were away, I started to think about the future, Felicity- our future. Something that I haven't done, and haven't been able to do, ever. Suddenly, I was happy, and I wanted things for us. I'm not saying that coming here changed that because it was the right thing, and I want to be wherever you are. This space that I let come between us had nothing to do with how I feel about you, Felicity. I love you, and you make me a better man." Oliver was looking into her eyes from across the desk, but she could still feel the intensity.

Felicity made her way around the desk to be with him at the window once again, her hand immediately going to his cheek. They smiled at each other for a minute before he continued.

"The space between us was a question I never got to ask you," He paused for a deep breath. "and I was going to ask you a month ago, but now I know that you couldn't have said yes, because we weren't in the right place. You could have never been happy in a gated community, eating brunch with the neighbors and discussing slow cookers- and I love that about you. Part of who you are is that you need to be helping people, you have to be taking care of more than just yourself. And now we're doing exactly that, together." Tears began slipping down her cheeks as Oliver slowly helped her understand. He wiped them away with the pad of his thumb and kissed where each one had been.

"Oliver." she gasped as he pulled his face back from hers. A huge grin broke out across her face, "You really didn't have to break anything, I saw the ring in the bowl last week and was waiting for you to stop being so damn broody and figure things out and just ask me."

Oliver blinked at her incredulously, mouth open wide and head nodding in disbelief as she bit back laughter. He immediately dropped to one knee and pulled out the ring that he had scooped out of the remains of the glass bowl.

"Felicity Meghan Smoak, please marry me already." He begged.

She immediately pulled him back up and crushed her lips to his, a kiss that was reverent and sure. He barely had time to pull back for breath before she was throwing her arms around his neck, "Yes, yes, yes, already!" she exclaimed as she made sure there was absolutely no space between them.

He spoke up after a minute in a choked voice, "Felicity? I can't really breathe."

"Oh, me neither." she murmured, her eyes still closed as she squeezed him tightly.

"No, Felicity, you're choking me."

"Oh!" She blurted out and pulled away from him, immediately looking down at the ring that had been crushed between them in his hand. He reached out for her hand, rubbing her left index finger with his thumb. He gave her one of the most genuine smiles she had ever seen on him.

"You are my girl, Felicity- and this is our city."

He gestured out the window with his eyes as he slid the ring onto her finger.


End file.
